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Mario Balotelli from A to Z


MANCHESTER - Corrected, without bullshit from tabloids... but maybe we're keeping some ;), 'cause, as Noel Gallagher says, we would like them to be true... (says a lot about all the stories and lies told by Noel...)

He’s one of the most talked about players in the Premier League, but it’s Mario Balotelli’s (as they call him in England: the enigmatic Italian hitman) outrageous antics, as much as his sensational talent, that hit the headlines.
The Manchester City star has become not­orious for his eccentric behaviour, on and off the field. Life around Mario is never dull.
The 21-year-old Italian’s latest escapade this week was to reveal his hot dates with the same hooker who romped with Wayne Rooney.
Here we present our ultimate A-Z guide to the ace who has lit up this football season...

A is for AC Milan. If you’re a footballer for Inter Milan, what’s the most inflammatory thing you can do? That’s right, parade around on national TV on the most seen TV programme as Super Mario Bros did wearing the shirt of your club’s rivals, AC Milan, and singing their anthem inside Inter changing rooms, and even being a fan of the club.

B is for bibs. (the story about him helping a boy being bullied wasn't true). At first, fans of other clubs mocked him for his difficulties while trying to wear bibs (during trainings), but then he was self-ironic (that is, intelligent) about it.

C is for curry. In Dec­ember 2011, Balotelli broke a 48-hour curfew before City’s game against Chelsea to go to a curry house, although he “was not drinking alcohol”, he “signed autographs, posed for pictures with fellow diners and was involved in a mock sword-fight”. The club launched an internal investigation.

D is for derby. Manchester Utd 1, Manchester City 6. Balotelli scored the first two goals and almost a 3rd one causing a red card, closing the game, as City handed United their heaviest defeat in Premier League history.

E is for ego. “There’s only one player that is a little stronger than me: Messi. All of the others are behind me.”

F is for fireworks. On the eve of the Manchester derby a friend of Mario (not Mario himself) set fireworks off in a bin at his home, then Mario put the bin in the bathroom where the curtains were set alight. The fire brigade was called.
United fans said: you're celebrating too soon...

G is for Gallagher, the real one. Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher in a cool Pretty Green store said about him: "I like that Balotelli geezer, that Mario dude. He's top, he's smart. The crackers is cool. He has attitude. Right now footballers are just a bit too professional. They are all like Coldplay. You need exciting players, the ones who are a bit bonkers. Balotelli is crazy, but he is young. I think, when the penny drops, he will be a mega-player."

H is for hilarious, (his crazy) hat and Holly Henderson. (the stories about him giving a lot of money in a church, in a pub and to homeless man weren't true). There are other (true) stories about him, like: visiting a school's toilet, his allergy to the grass, Balotelli and the pornstar Holly Henderson, provoking Ferdinand smiling and winking an eye and that one got angry as fuck, lol (at the end of Man City-Man td 1-0, FA Cup semifinal @ Wembley), etc.

I is for iron. When sent by his mum Silvia to John Lewis to buy an iron, the soccer ace returned with a trampoline.

J is for “Juicy Jenny” Thompson. The prostitute linked to Wayne Rooney also bedded Balotelli. After chanting “Rooney, Rooney!” at her across a restaurant (another correction: it was last year), the footballer later bumped into the hooker and asked for her number. The City star claims he never paid for her services.

K is for klutz. A back- heeled goal attempt against LA Galaxy (but it was just a friendly game in the summer) landed him in hot water with manager Roberto Man­cini. He was then subbed. Balotelli claimed that he only attempted the back-heel because he thought he was offside.
Americans defended him and said he makes football fun.

L is for Lothario. Balotelli reportedly shouted at a girl in a restaurant. With food falling from his mouth he told her to come over. Unbelievably, she did. He handed her his phone and told her to store her number. Even more unbelievably, she did. She then left without either of them saying another word. Who says romance is dead?

M is for Mancini. Bal­otelli recently admitted he hadn’t heard of Manchester City FC bef­ore joining them and only signed because manager Roberto Mancini was the best. He said: “If Mancini say something, he’s right.”

N is for Noel Gall­agher. A dedicated Man City fan (not sure about that... he caused many defeats), Noel recently announced on stage that Balotelli was his “fav­ourite person in the entire world”, licking the arses of Italians, as usual. Mario granted him an interview last month (of course Noel told lies and blamed Liam, as usual) where he admitted to being an Oasis fan. Some might say: dumb and dumber.

O is for open-top bus. When Man City won the FA Cup (first cup in 35 years, and he was the Man of the Match in the final), Balotelli was homesick, as usual, and went to Italy and missed the bus parade around the city.

P is for passenger seat. Pulled over by police for driving around Manchester with £25,000 in cash on his passenger seat, Balotelli was asked why. He laughed and rep­lied: “Because I'm rich”.

Q is for quad bike. The star loves roving around his £3million est­ate on his quad bike and insists he always wears a helmet to be safe.

R is for ruckus. The striker was involved in a public bust-up with team mate Aleksandar Kolarov during last Saturday’s draw with Sunderland.
Or R for rabona, one of his magic tricks.

S is for Sophie Read. He was linked to the Big Brother babe before his current girlfriend Raffaella Fico. Mario "betrayed" Sophie with her friend Faye Evette Betts. Sophie then slated Mario on Twitter, saying that he's a bastard. And you're a bitch.

T is for tricks. After being approached by a magician in Manchester’s Trafford Centre, Bal­otelli invited the wizard to his house to teach him to perform magic. He says he can only “do one trick, but it’s a good one”.

U is for undoubted talent. At 21 Bal­otelli has already scored nearly 50 professional goals and has won seven major trophies, including the Champions League.

V is for visitor. Balotelli once took his younger brother to visit a women’s prison. When questioned by guards Mario said he and his brother were “just curious at the fact that it was a women’s prison”.

W is for “why always me?” He explained he wore the famous T-shirt because “People always talk bad and say stuff about me. They don’t know me.” He then said he was going to donate the T-shirt to Noel. He clearly needs new clothes.

X is for X-ray. Mario has been hampered in his career by recurring knee injuries.

Y is for youth team. He was found guilty of throwing darts at members of the Man City youth team. His reason? “I got bored and wanted to pass some time.”

Z isn’t for Zzzzz. Bec­ause we’ll never get bored with following this crazy star’s antics.
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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates

2000

30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel

2003

16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)

2011


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.

2012

new tour

2013

3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)



8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland

2014

Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)

2010


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London

2011


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here

2012


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)

END OF THE HIGH FLYING BIRDS

2013

fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8
 

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