some of Noel Gallagher's funniest quotes
I think Italy, Milan and a very few other things must be proud for being safe from Noel broadsides on everything ^_^
On being a roadie:
“I look back on those days as some of the best of my life. No photographs, no interviews. Just get up in the morning, make sure the gear works, do the gig and then fucking party.”
On ageing:
"I don’t stay up for two or three days on end, fuckin’ talking shit about aliens, but I’m becoming more of a belligerent old man, you know what I mean? It’s the usual. When you get to a certain age you find that other people’s opinions don’t really matter anymore, and you get kind of uncomfortable with your place in modern life."
On U2:
"Play ‘One’, shut the fuck up about Africa."
On Oasis live:
“This is rock 'n' roll, not a charity handout. I don’t care who you are, why you’re here, what you expect. If you buy the ticket then you’re going to get the show we put on. And if you don’t like it, you know what you can do.”
On Live8:
"I'm not sure about this Live8 thing. Correct me if I am wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick 15-minute break at Gleneagles and sees Annie Lennox singing 'Sweet Dreams' and thinks, 'Fuck me, she might have a point there, you know.' It's not going to fucking happen, is it?"
On frivolous purchases:
“I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of £110,000, and I haven’t got a driving license. It’s useless to me.”
On his funeral:
“I'm not really bothered 'cause I won't be there. I don't give a shit.”
On Kaiser Chiefs 'being wankers':
“Well, they are, though. The worst thing about them is that they’re not very good. They play dress-up and sit on top of an apex of meaninglessness. They don’t mean anything to anybody apart from their fucking ugly girlfriends.”
On Bloc Party:
“They’re a bunch of middle class kids trying to rebel about against mum and dad. They sit on top of an apex of shit.”
On Keane:
“I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into onto his cock people would go ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night’.”
On Blur:
"Damon Albarn is a fucking knobber. And his guitarist - who I thought was all right - seems to think that he's some intelligent superhuman being, the fucking idiot. I never met the drummer and the bassist, who I first didn't like and thought he was a cunt, turned out to be quite all right. But I don't like the music, and I don't like the singer."
(year 1997)
On hip-hop:
“I fucking despise hip-hop. Loathe it. Eminem is a fucking idiot and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life.”
On Liam:
“He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”
“I read these interviews with him and I don’t know who the guy is who’s in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I’ve been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fucking knobhead.”
On Liam imitating John Lennon:
“He was talking in a Scouse accent for three days. He told me I should refer to him as John and I was like, 'I just prefer 'cunt', man.”
On drugs:
“Didn't go into rehab like all me mates did - fucking lightweights.”
“I still tell people that the 'Be Here Now' album is the best advertisement against taking cocaine. It goes on too long, it's smothered by its self of self-importance - the same as coke users are.”
On kids:
“Kids are so fuckin' thick these days that they are very easily influenced, aren't they?”
On 'Definitely Maybe':
“Look. I was a superhero in the '90s. I said so at the time. McCartney, Weller, Townshend, Richards, my first album's better than all their first albums. Even they'd admit that.”
