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Noel Hitler says he was never in Oasis

LONDON - As anticipated days ago with my photo of the hand, Beady Eye's new single Iz rite, 25 November with (Northern) Soul Love, here is the artwork.

About the other day's post, Noel against books. The media darling has a problem with "truth"... and so he comes out with issues involving "truth"... to sound as the real man who tells the truth only eh...
now many people know he told a thousand lies, but of course non-Oasis fans don't follow all he says, and maybe just heard Liam singing "your lying" referred to Noel.
He is already a fake character, and so he can't recognise the truth. Sure drugs damaged his brain. His lies are fiction. That's why he wants to read about "things that really happened" only, while we live in a real world already.
Here is the confirmation that he's no artist.
He sufferes from inferiority complexes towards all the musicians he copied from, that's why he's so bitter about fiction.

Noel's interview is even more idiotic... he always hated Oasis (and left them 3 times), that was LIAM's band, formed by Liam, name given by Liam, fronted by Liam, etc.
"I'm a loner. A lone wolf. I'd have made a brilliant assassin. Sniper. Sitting in a tree for four months on the off chance. I enjoyed being in a group. But I was never a part of it. I was always off to one side."
And still obsessed with Nazism (his favourite fiction books), and the interviewer even says "so, as with Hitler, books are out"... Noel Hitler Gallagher.
I've written a novel.
Noel: "What was it about?"
About a guy who sees a girl...
N: "Here we go. Already the shittest book of all time."
...and he finds her camera and...
N: "But you know that doesn't happen in real life! You know that never happens!"
it does happen. Not to him hating everyone.
And once again the tabloid story of Liam riding the dog... to paint him as an idiot for the media. Old boring scheme for the media darling Noel. Oh he likes that fiction. That was not true, denied by the people working there. Why there's no photo? usually tabloids have pics for everything..

Noel blamed Beady Eye for no reformation of Oasis.
ah! shameless bastard.
"Disappointed that an Oasis reunion seems no closer? Noel Gallagher recently told NME that whenever he meets his former bandmates, they're "too busy talking about fucking Temples and Jagwar Ma" to discuss a reformation."
didn't he repeat "no Oasis reunion" in every way a thousand times, "not even for starving children"...
also, he usually does not meet his former bandmates...

It's probably the first time I read so many comments against Noel (usually they're for Liam, even under articles about Noel), usually the media darling protected by the illuminati could say the biggest bullshit, wishing to catch Aids and die, not doing reunions "not even for starving children", being bigger than Jesus, etc. and everybody goes: "godlike genius"... "brains behind the band"... (when they don't think it was Liam saying those bullshit...)
Noel suffers from inferiority complexes, he wants to be bigger but should concentrate on not being inferior.
So many against him probably because they're not his blinded fans...
Noel is not entitled to his opinion about something he clearly doesn't know. He just shows to be silly.
Why should all the people care about this media darling talking about coconuts. He clearly has not read enough books and has an ignorant opinion.
Also, fights with Liam were fiction from tabloids. Noel really became famous thanks to fiction. A night he was drunk he admitted his "masterplan" was to become successful through media stories instead of music...

Read carefully, there are many funny or interesting ones:

So does this mean all the events portrayed in Oasis songs actually happened? There was an actual champagne supernova in the sky? (7 minutes)

You mean there really is a wonderwall? fuck the Wall of China, I'll go see that on my holidays instead.

What the Fuck is a Magic Pie...?

Personally I find lyrics like "walking down the hall faster than a cannon ball", and "up in the sky, flying high, eating chips and pie...tell me why?" to be a waste of time.
I made-up the last set of lyrics, but it is the sort of drivel this moron would have written at some point.

hope he's not reading this - your lyrics might turn up on the next album

it's either mid life crisis or he's got a record coming out soon or both

Someone who can't enjoy fiction because it "isn't fucking true" is just displaying a lack of imagination. Judging by his lyrics down the years I'm guessing this is Noel's problem. Shame that.

He never was big on imagination.

It might explain why his lyrics are so utterly shite. Lucky busker that he is.

Wow, he's an even bigger twat than his brother!

Now that was obvious years ago!

It's like saying all people from Manchester are a waste of time. What annoys me is when others try to make more of his opinion than it is or deserves.

So called lyricist derides creative writing. What a twat. I guess it explains his horrendous buggering of the English language in many of his retarded "choons". Next question, why do so many Oasis fans turn into whining shits at the merest whiff of criticism?

i fucked him once back in 1992... he's a lazy crap, boring shag.... wish I'd brought a book to read

Given that he actually does make a living writing 'songs', and most writers of fiction don't make a living, his comments come over as not only ignorant but bullying.

Who the hell is Noel Gallagher? Never heard of him. Did he win a Nobel Prize? Never mind. I don't have time for such gibberish - too busy re-reading Alice Munro's books.

OH YEAH....what someone says about the Cuban missile crisis is all "true" what an absolute c%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%k. This is the mentality we are dealing ignoramus from some street in Burnage enlightening us about what is true or not!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah..I forgot "history" is ;all true isnt it??? it;s written by God????????????? Not humans????????

He just shouldn't be famous any more, he is of no cultural value

What an intellect! I don't know why we have to get in the gutter with this nasty little, worthless turd.

What a deeply unpleasant and stupid little man he is.

He's supposed to be a creative artist. What kind of a creative artist is it who thinks 'truth' only resides in facts?

noel's position in the world is built on made up stories out of his own imagination

[in fact, it's quite hilarious from one as Noel who became famous - according to his "masterplan" too - thanks to the media, the tabloid stories... that are clearly fiction, unless you live in the UK and believe them...]

Gallagher has the thuggish mental IQ of a demented slug. Tabloid interest only for footballers and their equally moronic supporters.

here is nothing valid, intelligent or enlightening about condemning storytelling, which is only ever 'not true' in the most literal of readings, and which is as fundamental to human beings as speaking.

What's the point of the human imagination if you don't use it? It's the ability to imagine things which haven't 'actually happened' which distinguishes us from animals.

if all humans were like Noel, i.e. haters of the imaginative mental life, i think the human race would have made little progress, as science relies not just on recording how the world is, but also imagining how it might be and then locating evidence which supports that theory

If he's such a serious person and into reading political books then why does he write such meaningless shit lyrics!

I once met a bloke in the pub who explained that he didn't like a certain sci fi film because 'it just couldn't happen'. Evidently, this unfortunate psychological condition is as common as stupid people are.

I pity him. I'm studying Ancient History, so I can quite happily be reading fiction, while also reading several non-fiction titles. Reading fiction and non-fiction are two different skills. Reading one doesn't make you better or smarter than someone else.

The idea that literature must be true in order to have any meaning or serve any purpose is the really odd point he makes. Actually, that's kind of his only point I suppose.

Judging from his work, I wouldn't say Gallagher has the broadest musical palette. If his creative interests had been more expansive, might his music have been less derivative?

If he feels so strongly about it why not try writing some songs about "Things that actually happened" rather than knocking out more meaningless drivel full of ripped off riffs and lyrics that have already been done to death by far more talented performers.
It would make a refreshing change.

I suspect his attitude is the predominant one for those who read one or 2 books a year or less.

[in fact Noel was reading that book he names, also some years ago...]

Hmmm, I'm pretty sure I read he's a Led Zeppelin fan somewhere. Half of their songs wouldn't exist without the influence of Tolkien and in turn Zep have influenced rock and brit poprock etc etc. I wonder if he feels they wasted their time. Sounds like an "I'm still here you guys, being controversial" reminder.

Well, the DSM-V (used to diagnose psychiatric problems) might be considered fiction, but I think he might check it out and see if medical intervention wouldn't help him a wee bit. Half the things you read today thinking it is non-fiction ends up being 60% fictitious anyway. Remember when there were only 7 planets, 8 planets, and all of a sudden 9- only to find out the 9th wasn't really a planet anyway? I suppose every song he sings is completely true- like the Bible or something. If so, that's called a messianic complex (page 597 or thereabouts). Whatever. You know, that scowl might have a biological source rather than a psychological one. Being on the road so much can be very constipating.

This is the guy who doesn't like black people playing at Glastonbury. Wanker.

Obviously he doesn't see the irony of singing songs about stuff that never happened for a living.

It would have been good if he had said the reverse: Noel Gallagher says reading factual things is 'a waste of fucking time'...

HE IS A MODERN Moronnnnnnnnnnn for the masses// HE WOULD NOT KNOW ARTTTTTTTTTTTTTT if it SHAT in his not very pleasant face

Noel Gallagher can read?

I am surprised that he can actually read.

What else would you expect from a pathetic moron who probably can't read or write?

[he's dyslexic and admitted he can't even read music...]

SORRY JUST REALISES he is dyslexic too, everyone forgot??? he doesnt know how to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST ANOTHER 90S LADDISH moron to stop people thinking about politics and real life...fiction INSPIRES US.....Why even give this small cranium space in a paper as good as this???????????????

(Noel had named films like Star Wars as his favourites, "Noel Gallagher: these films changed my life")
No difficulty in suspending disbelief for Star Wars then Noel! LOL What a complete and utter tool!

I seem to remember an interview with the tosser when he was raving about Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. He said it was great...ha ha!

(yes, for years, he said Dan Brown's two most popular books are the only books he read in his life...)

Ignore the comedy idiot

Noel Gallagher has the brain of a guinea fowl.

This man sounds like an angry, resentful simpleton

By this logic I guess he doesn't like art unless it's a still life, photograph, or landscape. For an artist to not 'get' creativity is double narrow minded.

Given the somewhat derivative nature of music, his lack of understanding of the creative imagination is no surprise.

I bet he likes a good movie though? .......something Guy Ritchie I would thats easy for him.....bubble gum for the mind......proof, as if we needed it, that Noel's brain is as slack as his jaw and his talent.

He's voicing an opinion i've heard from a lot of men with limited education but with a taste for pop culture and technology who've dabbled with a bit of politics and history. I don't share his opinion, just hope he finds a mate one day who can interest him in some fiction he likes and can relate to. He's certainly going to be pissed off when he finds out that most historical stories are fiction!

what a twat! If he cared about facts, he wouldn't have become an "artist". Music is fabrication of sounds, some of which are unnatural (synthesiser/keyboard). We do look down on these muppets, and we should continue to do so. Becoming rich on junior level rhyming doesn't mean you can flap that trap on the rare occasions that you're not rat-arsed!

The whole point is to waste your time pleasantly.

as opposed to listening to Gallagher's naff Beatles tribute act.

Not as much 'a waste of fucking time' as listening to his second rate second rate Beatles rip-offs.

A bigger waste of time is cover versions and you've done plenty of them. Its like rewriting a novel that's already been wrote.

It's not too surprising . Perhaps he should make the initial effort without prejudice , to read a great work of fiction. How can he know whether his life would be enriched by taking that step , or not ? It might make him a better song-writer . Surely he's not content to have only written 3 really good songs ? There can be no expression without impression , after all .

the stupid one: "Noel makes a valid and interesting point. I have read so much fiction over the years and a great many of the classics of English literature".

Except I doubt Noel has spent years reading a great many of the classics of English literature before formulating his nuanced opinion.

Noel should read some Hemingway, I suspect he's enjoy it.

he's got to spend a few days reading George Orwell's 1984 to see why he's wrong....

What a shame for Mr Gallagher. There's some rather decent fiction out there, and it's not that hard to find.

but apparently too hard to read. Poor lad.

The biggest piece of fiction ever was that Gallagher is a songwriter

Ooooooooo.... another controversial and pointless opinion of the no longer relevant Noel Gallagher.

I have grown to like Noel, but he does come out with some stupid shit sometimes.

This guy is a fucking idiot

GQ icon of the year. Planet earth's tool of the century.

making such a statement publicly just reveals how much of Neanderthal the man is

I wonder if he has yet to figure out that adding "fucking" to every other space between words doesn't make his crap argument any more valid.

Perhaps if he read more quality fiction, he might improve his vocabulary beyond the f-bomb.

Funny, I've always found him and his puny Beatles pastiches a waste of time. And take note, no need for expletives.

Tell him I read for what's true in literature -- how it can keep the past more 'alive' than most histories often corrupted by ideological assumptions

following through on this heathen logic, l your songs are 'fiction' Noel. So we will just stop listening to them - they are equally a waste of fucking time. Unless you write a song that deals with the Cuban missile crisis of course

Wow, that's really kind of sad when you think about it. He's basically admitting he doesn't have any imagination

There's more truth in fiction than in history books Noel. You sad twat

Aahh! Now we know why he's so dull and predictable.

Noel is looking increasingly like fictional puppet chauffer Parker out of Thunderbirds

Noel does this to make people think he's interesting. I'm so angry a newpaper like this can publish the thoughts of a moron!

Was there ever a time when Noel's kind of comment would sail by unnoticed, rather than be featured in a national newspaper? Y'know, I think there was...

Some people's opinions are far more valid and credible than other peoples opinions. Noel's opinion on fiction has little value given his knowledge on the the subject

If someone doesn't like reading novels then that's fair enough but to make out there's something intrinsically wrong with written fiction as an idea, particularly for the reason he gives, is completely stupid. And saying there's something 'middle class' about it only makes things worse. He sounds like someone who's got issues with his own dislike of reading novels.

Hasn't he got rid of all his anger yet? I hope his children are happier than him.

This shows he's just as much of a moron as I always thought he was.....

Some singer from the 90s says something, and there's an article about it. For what it's worth, I'd like to say that his haircut looks like that of a Lego-man clip-on hair. Were I famous there would be an article about what I just wrote.

ahahaha or Playmobil hair

His haircut's a feat of excellence compared to his last record, though. What hasn't deserted him is his ability to handle the press.

dreams and fiction make the future man

I love it when multi-millionaire lame-ass rock stars pretend to speak for 'the people.' Noel needs to climb out of his own bum and have a look around.

Well as pastimes go, reading fiction is cheaper than doing coke, and it doesn't turn you into an obnoxious dickhead.

What a horribly ill informed, prejudiced assumption to make.

A true jerk, and loudmouth. Needs to go back to Germany

life is here to be enjoyed, and that is made difficult if one goes about wondering how "useful" anything is.

THIS guy has NO point. My point is this. BEING AN ARTIST. Who is he??? He is Nobody from south Manchester....who was a made-man in the 90s to fill the void of vacuous MUSICK.
Here are some REAL ARTISTS -- Borges. Dostoevsky, Nabokov, Garcia Marquez. Mario Benedetti, Graham Greene, Anthony Burgess ( a REAL MANCUNIAN), Saramago, Dickens, Chinhua Achebe, Camus. This TALENTLESS pub -rock -hack ISN'T FIT to lick their boots........

What he said was fiction. or was it? The truth must come out. Or should it? What is the truth? In 1973 a teacher told me that by the year 2000 we would all retire by 40 and be travelling everywhere by hovercraft. Instead we are wearing extra jumpers. All writing is fiction. even if its fact. because 99 percent of facts are opinion backed up by theory and research. The world was flat once. fact.

This is a bit obvious isn't it ? Chavs don't like literature ? Whatever next ? How about getting Noel to talk about pies or trainers ? Something the peasants can understand. Chavs hate English culture which is why they refuse to speak it properly. In the old days , he would have been employed in a workhouse with very little time to discuss Milton or Shakespeare and would have enjoyed a more fruitful existence spending his time dreaming of domestic violence and getting drunk.

I think these views are actually offensive to so called "working class" people. Is a person from a more economically deprived background also looking down on others if they pick up a novel? Does Noel actually want working class people not to read just so this false, simplistic stereotype can be maintained? Knob.

I write those factual books he likes... did he think they are not written by writers? I also write fiction. Where does that leave me? Sometimes 'fucking putting myself a tiny little bit above the rest' and sometimes not? What a twat.

most fiction has a grounding in fact. Take Animal Farm or The Count of Monte Cristo. When you read Oliver Twist or Huck Finn you're immersed in the era; or The Catcher in the Rye, you're feeling what you might not otherwise have felt in your life. I don't know much, but I know he's an idiot.

Says the man who slags off One Direction, Rhianna and just about everyone else in the pop industry. It seems like folk who pick up a guitar and try to sound like The Beatles think they know more about music than everyone else. They're "cool" whilst everyone else isn't.

Does this man's twattery know no limits? Because he wrote a few one-dimensional pop tunes years ago he's given press space? Why?

The fact that Noel Gallagher is ALREADY a fictional character probably means that - on the principle of double negatives cancelling each other out - fictional writing has no effect on him. For Noel, the real world is a work of fiction - hence his response to factual prose.

"According to the Bookseller's Cathy Retzenbrink, Gallagher has identified an "incredibly serious point"..." No he hasn't... Don't encourage the cretin; this is a bloke who espouses 'the truth' but writes about Champagne supernovas in the sky.

Maybe his next screed will be against films, because, you know, most of Spiderman and X-Men requires a "suspension in belief in reality" as well. Then he could proceed to dismiss theatre, and a large portion of whatever is written online on blogs and such. So poorly referenced and sourced, most of it! Then he could go through the annals of rock and roll, and dispense with Led Zeppelin, who were inspired by Tolkien, and David Bowie, who pretended to be Ziggy Stardust, etc. What a refreshingly clean and truthful culture would be left after Gallagher's purge! (ironic)

How charmingly naive of him to think that non-fiction books tell him the truth... And maybe one day he will ponder that he might get more of a feeling for the truth and reality of our human condition after reading a few novels...

Rejecting fiction in favour of facts is like refusing to eat oranges in favour of apples. They are different kinds of information. Neither is "better" than the other.

Anyway, what makes Gallagher think that the facts he holds to be so superior to fiction are objectively true and the interpretation of these facts by historians is necessarily definitive? Historical "facts" are disproven, reinterpreted and reassessed, often in light of new research, all the time.

Some of the best historians write with the techniques of storytellers and novelists.

The best novels teach us about the failings and follies of mankind. This knowledge surely informs and improves our understanding of factual universe - it doesn't detract from it.

he's completely wrong here. And I mean completely. Anthropologists who've studied the rise of empathy in society have all noticed the big jump of empathy along with the rise of literacy and fictional books. If people practice seeing the world from another person's point of view, as in stories, it is easier for them to do so in real life. Fictional books could be a major contributor to the rise and rise of kindness and empathy, and so the opposite of 'a waste of time'.

To say something like this, being a public figure, means he is an ignorant and a malevolent little mind. Ignorant because fiction is almost everything we read, from the Bible to Freud's theories, from The Quran to Greek mythology, all is fiction. We need fiction to make sense of our lives, to learn what is to be a hero, a coward, a villain, what is to be mad, why wrath can cause us to lose everything, why sometimes we need revenge... It teaches us to be human. Chemistry can tell us how the atoms interact with each other, History to learn how things happened according to some points of view. Fiction is a way to defeat Chaos, to make sense.
He is also malevolent because a statement like this can give some children and some childish men an excuse for not growing up an excuse to avoid learning about themselves, about life and its multiple and deep truths.
He is obviously a petty man, and if he has children, that I don't know, I pity those children, they are being raised by a child, not by a man.
Maybe he just needs to be in the news and saying something so stupid is a way to give his slovenly figure a new touch of negligence. Little minds work that way...

So his efforts at song writing, creating a mood, offering a narrative, a 'live forever' metaphor are all bollocks then... ?

And this dim turd is still relevant because...?

reading fiction is a form of escapism,its better than taking drugs or or indulging in excessive amounts of alcohol

Novels are real life. There is no need to suspense belief because in fact they are more real than real life. This most apparent in the best novels/novelists...Dostoevskij (Notes from Underground, Crime and Punishment) and lots like that. This novels are parts of real life selected by the novelist and reproduced in concentrated fashion so that they are more real than real life, more intense.
You've missed out on something in life if you don't get into novels and experience those really amazing ones. Its like having an arm missing.
Go on luuv do give it a try!

even "real-life" writing, i.e; 2 descriptions of the same events can end up totally different and are subject to the person writing, their point of view, their writing style, their politics. So although what happened really happened, the way this is recorded is to some extent subject to a narrative just like a novel.

What a self centered dullard. He must have some new record coming out and needs to make some kind of comment to remind the world about himself.

No one tell him that his songs are works of fiction, it might be too much of a thought paradox for his little mind

I like to read fiction, and I look down on Noel Gallagher.

I read more non-fiction than fiction but I find the idea that non-fiction books are about ""what really happened" more than a little bit naive. Considering that there were some studies that found a pretty strong link between reading fiction and empathic ability, describing them as " a waste of fucking time" seems also ..well..narcissistic.

He's changed his tune.. I remember in the mid 90s in some primary school pamphlet to encourage kids to read more, Mr Noel Gallagher stated how much he loved the Witch, the Lion and the Wardrobe. Unless he's now recategorising this as non-fiction of course.

Presumably he also has no time for any films or TV series that aren't documentary because they also "aren't fucking true"? And presumably he thinks Picasso's paintings are rubbish because the people "didn't fucking look like that"? Did it never occur to him that the reason people like fiction - in whatever form - is because when it's done well it can depict human nature in a way that seems more vivid and convincing than any so-called true story? And he's also pretty naive to think that all so called fact-based books tell "the truth". Many are driven by an agenda and at best show a partial truth. His comments just seem blinkered and ill-thought out, but then it's hardly a great surprise.

Wow.... that's pretty fucking amazing for a guy that's made a career as a musician - a job one might normally think of as a "creative artist". But he simply comes off as a bitter, unimaginative fuck of an ignoramus. Why did he write his own songs? Why didn't he just go down to the fucking music store and pick up sheet music / tabs for songs other people have already written and just play those? Why use your fucking imagination for anything?

Who want's to read about the crap that went on in the world 50 years ago?
Give me a good novel any day of the week

LOL - He's an arse. And if he really thinks fiction is 'a waste of fucking time' it only shows his ignorance. To see no value in fiction only betrays his own shortcomings.

Haha, my suspicions have been confirmed - the man's a moron!

i find non-fiction far less truthful than fiction. Actual events tell us nothing about our lives

I wonder where Noel Gallagher got this weird idea that writing and reading nonfiction involves no narrative imagination whatsoever. I wonder where he got this idea that reality itself is merely about assimilating and reacting to facts. He mentions The Kennedy Tapes. I've read this book; it's basically 300 pages of JFK, McNamara, and Rusk, et al. trying to get inside the heads of the Soviets. It's about powerful men forming an impression of the world based on fragmentary information. It's about the narrative the White House told itself during October 1963. This is pretty devastating for Gallagher's case, I think. Because it says that narrative imagination - the engine of nonfiction - is present in all things. But I dunno. I've probably given this more thought in the 30 seconds it took me type this comment than Gallagher has in his entire life. He's a bit of a dunce, yo.

he didn't write songs, he just went down to the music store and picked up music to copy songs other people had already written

He can read?
Well done Noel, didn't think you'd have it in you!
Now, please fuck off

Perhaps if he read a bit more though he could have expanded his 'fucking' vocabulary a bit.

Well of course reading fiction takes up time but it does have the associated benefit for the reader of expanding the vocabulary pool...

This is a person (not fit to be called a man) who should have a bar of soap pushed into his mouth. The is no call for foul language and even less for a paper to print it.

I think he really does need to read more to expand his pitifully restricted vocabulary. Who knows by expanding his vocabulary and engaging the creative part of his brain, it may improve his song writing and render him suitable to take out in polite society.

Are the useless and stupid comments of this idiot worth a column in your newspaper? They could have been flushed down the toilet or discarded in the dustbin!

How old is he? It was funny with his little snotchy face when he was in his twenties. But now he's old he needs to act his age.

Noel Gallagher can read??? Surely that must be headline worthy news?

I only listen to pop songs that are about real events and people - for everything else they have just used their stupid useless imaginations and made shit up. (ironic)

Shocking that such a shit lyricist feels looked down upon by novelists. (ironic)

Fiction and those who read it should take heart because if he had supported it then we should really start to worry.

If Noel wants to get technical, imagination is the minds ability to run hypothetical 'what if' scenarios. It's a vital tool for human existence.

You can see how he'd come to this conclusion - having heard Oasis' and High Flying Bird's lyrics. Pointless. I've always thought Oasis' songs would have been immeasurably better if you exchanged the lyrics for the instructions to household appliances. I mean then you'd learn something...

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” ― Albert Einstein (who worked a lot with facts and stuff, apparently)

Further proof of what an ignoramus this individual is. I must have missed all his songs about real world events. If reading fiction is "a waste of fucking time" then writing it, in the form of 'songs', must be an even bigger "waste of fucking time"

You want to learn about Russia start with War and Peace.

Yawn... I get fed up with the false modesty of guys like Gallagher.

He may as well have said breathing is a waste of time too. What a ridiculous comment to make.

Stupid dumb turd.

Oh Noel, you really should have grown up a bit and moved on from the 'I'm a dickhead' image promotion. Or is there an Oasis comeback tour due (yawn)?

A product of his thoughtless generation. An opportunity to encourage others and what does he do ? Better we don't even give him a platform to express his un-imaginative thoughts.

Noel Gallagher is 75 years old and he's going to have that shit haircut when he's 100. Never adequately pulled off the John Squire look nor the Ian Brown. Noel was relevant for a month in October 1995; now it's like trying to take John Major seriously.

From someone who's made a lot of money writing fiction (songs), he has an irrational, angry disdain for the narrative.
How odd.
Perhaps, like a lot of the other things he does, it's just for attention.

The people who support his comments are probably comfortably well of, middle-class, and feel guilty about it. The rest of us know that this sort of reverse snobbery and anti-intellectualism is what holds the country back. It's telling the working classes to know their place. Become a rock star, or a footballer, but don't embarrass your parents by getting a degree and becoming a doctor or a lawyer, if the first two options don't work out, sign on!

I'm a fan of gallagher but I think he has just embarrassed himself there. Can't beat a bit of Irvin Welsh.

Readin fiction allows you to view the world in a different way. Its value is in its prose and poetry and scope, its carefully chosen word, alliteration and metre. Noel you're missing too much.

the stupid one: "Good ole Noel. He's often misquoted and misrepresented."
The misquoted and misrepresented one is called Liam.
Noel is a media darling, and is painted like God on earth.

What a complete bell end. Wouldn't expect this talentless, moronic spanner to have any sense of imagination (shows in his dirge like, football anthemic Beatles spoofs).
Since when has he been a standard bearer for quality in literature and can he actually read?

Philistine. He doesn't have an imagination, and seems to think fiction is a class issue (?!) Does he not watch fictional films and TV? Or is he above that? And since when do writers think they're better than musicians anyway? I bet most writers would LOVE to be a rock star, given the opportunity!

Reading fiction is fun, and I wouldn't call something that's fun a waste of f**king time. In fact, reading fiction is motherfuckingawesomefun! Go FUCK yourself Gallagher you useless tosser.

Who'd have thunk it - Noel Gallagher will have no truck with this whole imagination malarky. Copying existing material is much more time efficient.

Oh for gods sake, you can half expect Gallagher to come out with this inane drivel but a bookseller pandering to his stupidity is really too much, Reading and books are great, anyone who writes off an entire genre cos he doesn't get it demonstrates nothing more than their own ignorance

I'm more exasperated by the hijacking of "incredibly" as a four-syllable replacement for "really", "very" or "quite". The way bullshitters can seize upon a word and drain it of any meaning is hard to believe.

The problem is when people hold opinions as if it's the right one and other people are wrong as he has done. The problem is when you come out with sweeping statements like 'fiction is a waste of fucking time'. No more so than listening to music Noel.

he looks down on everyone while he is doing it a bit like the writers he was condemning.
I wonder if he has ever in his life once, not been a self serving twat

Also, why not just say, "I prefer nonfiction to fiction" instead of going off on a rant about how your way is the highway and everyone else is a thick twat.

Didn't he once say that he 'had never read a book and was proud of it' or something like that? So, now he's reading. Good stuff. In another ten years, he'll be reading fiction, but saying that the third-person narrator is a waste of time. Little steps.

Perhaps if he had read more books he'd be able to express that more nuanced point instead of crassly dismissing an entire art form with an expletive laden rant. Buffoon.

That's part of the fucking reason why he feels the need to fucking swear every other fucking word. The fucking fuck.

I don't know why he pretends to be a fucking idiot. Unless he isn't pretending.

Why does a man who said he constantly necked drugs as if they were only a cup of tea, pretends to have a beef against unreality?

To paraphrase an old Bill Hicks joke:
'Hey, what you readin' for?
'Well, I read for a lot of reasons; but mainly so I don't end up being as thick as Noel Gallagher'.

The reason he seems to be so bitter about fiction, is that he couldn't hold a lyrical candle to any of his heroes. Be it Lennon and McCartney, Bacharach and David, listen to the White Album and then anything by Oasis. Its like eating at a fine restaurant and then stuffing a lump of coal into your mouth. Perhaps if he read a bit more fiction, his lyrics would improve.

I dunno, maybe it's like the difference between a wank and sex. They can both be very enjoyable, but one is ultimately just a simulation of the other.
If you agree with Noel, you're clearly no Oasis fan today.
The old "I am like Noel" teenage fanboyism...
The new Noel is another person. I dunno, maybe it's like the difference between sex and a wank.
I enjoy sex only. The ultimate Noel is ultimately just a simulation of it

isnt it enough we live in reality, why should we read about it?

The Complete LIES of William Shakespeare, more like.

And with that, Noel concluded the interview by defecating into his hand and hurling it gleefully across the room.

I think selecting him for any prize other than "prize prat" pretty much marks GQ's decline into bankruptcy

And the winner of the Moronic Opinion of the Year award goes to.... Noel Gallagher.

who's that guy anyway?

I look forward to his next non-fiction album, "I'm a Bit of a Twat."

small minded dick

Maybe it's because I choose to read fiction that I don't use the F word like a stroppy little schoolboy.

no, noel, not a "wonderwall."
a person. a person. or at least a good psychiatrist.

Please please stop giving him the oxygen of publicity

Noel...really looking forward to your next album..."Kennedy Tapes, the extended version" or perhaps "The Cuban Missile Wonderwall"

Listening to pop music, a waste of fucking time. I only listen to the "real" sounds of industrial machinery and traffic noise.

this is absolutely hilarious! perhaps we should introduce new laws banning fiction? james joyce? out! chaucer? out! morrissey? out!
also, could someone perhaps clarify for me who this gallagher fellow is? a soccer player, perchance?

It's a failure of imagination not to be able to see the truth in fiction. Or a lack of effort.

Maybe that's the reason his lyrics are so godawful.

It's his loss.

“To imagine — to dream about things that have not happened — is among mankind’s deepest needs.”
— Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates


30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel


16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.


new tour


3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)

8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland


Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)



fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8

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