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God Noel hates Oasis

LONDON - see, I had said Noel is an idiot and Liam then said Noel is an idiot. I should stop writing scripts for him, he could become too powerful. Like Noel belonging to the illuminati.
Noel Gallagher has faith he will end up in Heaven — because he believes God loves Oasis. Too bad God Noel hates Oasis, leaving them 3 times and repeating a thousand times for the media that he wants no reunion "not even for starving children". And, Oasis was LIAM's band, forming the band, giving the name, being the frontman, singer, icon, etc. heart and soul.
The rocker (?! God Noel said Noel is not making rock anymore) has already written his Pearly Gates speech to persuade St Peter to overlook the catalogue of sex, drugs and rock’n’roll sins he’s racked up.
Dad-of-3 (and still getting drunk) Noel, 45, said: “I’d say, ‘You’ve heard Don’t Look Back In Anger?’, and they’d say, ‘Of course’. I’d say, ‘Look it’s me, let us in. I can play you a tune. I robbed some stuff (some like: he's the man who is still paying the most money for copying), I took a lot of drugs, but I’m all right’.” (not really, he's sick... months with glandular fever... must be the Aids he had wished Blur to catch... or one of the excuses for not reforming Oasis, "in 2015 I could have a cancer").
But Noel could face some awkward questions at Heaven’s gate. He once echoed John Lennon’s “Beatles are more important than Christ” claim (too bad Noel said Lennon was an idiot) by saying Oasis were bigger than God (he had said "bigger than the Beatles", yeeeesss). When he picked up the Godlike Genius gong at last year’s NME awards (award, only one, without people voting) he said: “I accept I am a genius, just like God.”
And when asked about the lyrics to 1997 hit D’You Know What I Mean? — which include “I met my maker, and I made him cry” — Noel said: “On Judgement Day, if there ever is one, I’ll have a few things to say to Him.”
But Noel believes his “real-life angel” missus Sara McDonald, 40 (?! according to the tabloids, it's 3 years she's 39...should be 42), will be straight in.
The High Flying Birds frontman (?! ahahaha frontman...and they disbanded) added: “She’s not a heavenly body. I can touch her and I do regularly and it’s great — for me, not for her.”
"Real-life angel" because she made Oasis split up...
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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates

2000

30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel

2003

16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)

2011


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.

2012

new tour

2013

3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)



8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland

2014

Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)

2010


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London

2011


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here

2012


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)

END OF THE HIGH FLYING BIRDS

2013

fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8
 

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