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Noel Gallagher's top 10 worst bullshit

LONDON - A 50 year-old-belly when he was still young (already looked old). Too much beer and drugs clearly damaged his little brain ("proud to be ignorant"). He needs some running as Liam running everyday in the early morning (Noel is too lazy).
But don't tell Noel he's fat... he hates fat people, including his fans.
Well done Noel, they're complete idiots.
Here's the "top 10" of the most idiotic things said / done by Noel Gallagher. I surely forgot some, 'cause the guy is a complete asshole (as Liam says: he's a little bitch, a parasite, a fucking fake, he makes me want to throw up), and his fans tend to forget all about him. According to the media (tabloids full of rubbish and general opinion, of course without knowing the Gallaghers personally), Liam is an idiot and Noel is God. In the real world, Liam is just a kind, honest person, he's no angel of course but at least he's himself. Noel now is another person, and is even more an arrogant, shameless liar, playing the millionaire diva and the media darling. He's not worth half of the half man he is.

1. "not even if all the starving children in the world depended on it"

About the Oasis reunion. And he was the first one talking about a reunion even before Oasis split up (! ...says a lot about who's to blame...) in 2009 some months before the split (for a "5 year break"...), and in 2011 in an interview. As always, he's double-faced (first, licking arses, then insulting) and changed version. Of course he then blamed Liam for talking about a reunion.
Liam took his part of the blame and Noel left the band 2 days before the final gig.
As Noel always said, he's "interested in money only", and even for his first charity gig (Teenage Cancer Trust, 2010) he said he was doing it for the money...
He recently wished "something really bad to happen" to himself 'cause he's feeling invicible (now he's ill) and said in 2015 he could have a cancer.
He didn't play @ Olympic Games 'cause he was asked to mime (the organizers knew he can't sing) and the complete truth is that they were not paying him.
The "starving children" sentence is the worst one ever heard. He forgot where he comes from. Even his sleepy fans are now disappointed.

2. wishing to "catch AIDS and die"

to the rivals Blur. Of course most of the people think it was Liam saying that.

3. insulting his own fans

Of course they don't even realise, 'cause they're blinded and dumb. Basically, they're kids. He often insulted them (who made him rich), especially on his blog (they don't even read it), 'cause they want an autograph, a photo... or because they're fat.
Recently he said nobody in Oasis cared about the fans... 'cause it was Noel not caring.
His fans (the new generation) sound homosexual, sucking his dick even when it's evident the dick he is, and want to marry him (probably they've seen him always on Grazia magazine). Seems like they're on drugs.
Probably that's the reason why he insults them, as he thinks "fashion is for gays".
Basically, he's a scaredy cat, and scared of his fans, 'cause he's got the John Lennon syndrome, he always thinks some mad fan could kill him.

4. telling lies, long list

and playing the victim. For the Oasis split he blamed: Liam, the management not supporting, the band memberS (plural) not supporting, Pretty Green, etc. Basically, everybody. Not himself. Not credible. To finally admit, in New York when he was tired, that he "doesn't know why he left them".
All the people who know him very well (his best friend Paul Weller, his brothers Liam and Paul, Andy, etc.), have said Noel is telling lies. He's ready to be a politician.

5. insulting everybody, long list

Yesterday he moaned as always, about Liam slagging him off and saying he doesn't like very much other people. On the contrary, Noel doesn't like anyone at all. He also moaned about moaning superstars moaning, that is: moaning about himself. He should thank his sweet mum who saved him from the court for all the lies he told.
He's even paying a person taking care of his public behaviour... Noel is a "built" character. He also clearly needs a psychologist.
A night when he was drunk, he confessed the meaning of his "masterplan": reaching the success through the media, and not through the music.
The media rarely publish negative things about him, only a few websites, while every single bullshit he says is even on cuisine websites, continuosuly repeated everywhere, as if the Pope spoke. His NME gave him the hilarious "godlike genius" award, without people voting...

6. leaving Oasis 3 times

In 1994, 2000 and 2009. The general knowledge of the people who don't know anything about Oasis is something like "Liam always left the band because he had no voice" ... hilarious. Basically, Noel never had a voice for singing (as he admitted, he learned to sing in 2005... but still sings in falsetto to reach the high notes). He always had a voice for all the bullshit he said.
The band (formed by LIAM, who also gave the name "Oasis", contrary to what Noel's fans think) continued without him.

7. the man who had to pay the most money for copying songs

It would have been better to have less songs, but original ones, and they're really a very few, only some parts of the songs. He's not able enough. The importance of being unable and the laziest guy. He makes mistakes in his own language (he's "proud of being ignorant") and just like his fans he doesn't even know basic facts about Oasis history.
Even his wife (and son) hate his depressing music.

8. bigger than the Beatles, John Lennon was an idiot

As most of the bullshit he says, after some time the people think they were said by Liam.
If John Lennon was still alive, he would have hated Noel and loved Liam.

9. losing his British identity

His "solo" album (only 10 songs) isn't really "solo" but for the 75% made of old songs we had already heard years ago (2001 and 2004 sessions), and as his imaginary friend Gem says, they were not even all written by Noel, the laziest guy... He got 23 negative reviews from music experts.
He recorded his album in the USA, copying USA-style music (New Orelans, Hollywood, etc.), copying the lyrics from an USA band, copying the name of the "band" from another USA band, making USA-style videos, with USA actresses, saying he wants to be USA new president, etc. (his ignorant fans didn't even realise), and for his licking effort he had as result the 28th position in the USA chart. After all, Americans are not so idiot as he always thought ("fat fucks working at McDonald's", etc.)
He forgot where he comes from. The people loved Oasis because they were typically British, at least the music. If we want to listen to an American band, we listen to an American band, not a fake Noel Gallagher selling his soul to the illuminati... (for the second time, 'cause the man, he don't pay him...)

10. the man without a style

He's always been jealous of Liam for his voice, style and girls loving him ("the good looking one").
Noel not only is ugly, he also always wears the same clothes, from the 2001 session, 'cause he thinks "fashion? you must be gay". Old, ruined and unfashionable. It would be ok if you were an unknown gypsy, but you're a famous multi, multi-millionaire. Obviously not caring about poor people.
45 years old, 2 marriages, father of 3 children, he still spends £7,000 for a night in bar.
What a complete bad example for young people. Obviously the world can only get worse.

Personaggio costruito e pessimo.

more stuff to add soon 
(to be thrown at Noel as he did with Irish cows)
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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates


30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel


16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.


new tour


3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)

8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland


Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)



fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8

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