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Noel Gallagher the lazy genius is sick, frozen in Poland

KRAKOW - Mario Balotelli, as he says: genius, lol... Noel Gallagher's idol, for the series "the importance of being idle"...
Probably someday also Balotelli will receive the "Godlike Genius" award, but as for Noel: without people voting... Not very democratic... Of course, with the people voting, he would have NOT won that prize from a magazine that lives on him.
Next prize for Noel: the Man who had to pay the most Money to copy in Music history. Fact. Can't find anyone else more than him. 
Noel = 3 real new songs every 3 years... and his imaginary friend Gem saying they're not by Noel... it must be those he took from the 2001 and 2004 sessions... Gem sounds more like a honest man, Noel sounds sly, that is not the same...
Then of course, according to Noel, the lazy one is Liam, elected one of the most working artists (music, fashion, now cinema).
Noel = the Jealousy in person, always taking things from other people (lyrics, music, band name, etc.).
Also the video for "The importance of being idle" was from someone else: the Kinks. Of course it was him deciding everything in Oasis, they call him the "brains behind the band", now the "mastermind", when I read these hilarious things I burst out laughing. Also, to leave a band 3 times, it takes a mastermind. To say bullshit and insult everyone it takes a mastermind. Continuously accusing everybody and then saying he doesn't know why he left them.
Not to mention again all the lies he told (and is still telling), always accusing other people, and never himself. He WANTS to sound as "alone vs the world"... wow romantic, but not credible, when there are many people who know you well, saying you're telling lies (Liam, Andy, the other brother Paul, etc.)
Anyway we have to thank him, 'cause he's showing how we should NOT be.
Also, drinking hard at 45 years old, while there's a whole family at home. I've heard someone wants to teach him how to behave in public.
I seriously think that for this former drug addict, a psychologist would be necessary. It's difficult to find a more miserable individual than Noel Gallagher. If he wasn't a millionaire, he would be an internet wanker. As Liam says: he's a fucking fake, makes me want to throw up. As Noel's best friend Paul Weller says: his stories are not true. As Noel's wife thinks: his music sucks, lol.

Today on his blog he realised he's sick:
"I fucking hate being a sick boy. It’s at times like this I wish I was still in a band so I could just shuffle onstage and stand at the back. Not good."
Yeah but not sick for 2 days, you're always sick.

The other day he had wished to the fans "enjoy the rain back home suckers!!!!!". Now he's frozen in Poland. "This cold is fucking killing me (man!)."

He sounds like an unlucky bugger, everything bad seems to happen, with airplanes, weather, evacuated hotels, jackets, etc. in Italy we had a similar one called Fantozzi... Probably, as Weller says, all those stories are not true, 'cause he wants to sound like an invicible one, a hero going through all kinds of problems. In fact, he had said "I wish something really bad to happen"... really an idiot.
To be added to the long list of things he hates: fat people. "American fat fucks", today it was a "fucking fat idiot with a fucking fat arm". Usually fat people are kind and funny, so there must be something wrong with you Noel... And the problem of this "fucking fat idiot" is that he wanted to take a photo with him... classic Noel (on his blog, literally: "Fuck off!!!" and ironizing on being fat). Without his fans, he would be living in the street. Evacuated.
Of course, for his blinded fans he's perfect, he loves the world and all the world loves him.
The people at his gigs are still mocking him... eating during the show, calling the name Liam, the name Bonehead, calling Noel "motherfucker", etc., now one with a sign "I love Blur!!"
And he's still playing Oasis... if he wasn't, there would be nobody.
As usual, in these days the media darling Noel is on every single website, even cuisine websites, and desperate housewives websites, because in his horrible video "Everybody's on the run" (he had said he hates videos as Stand by me...) there's a half naked (and not really so pretty) woman, Mischa Barton. He's that desperate. The last chance to make people "watch" his music.
Reading on the websites around, nobody seems to understand if he's a solo artist or he's in a band. But this too was subtly calculated by the sneaky Noel... calling the band with the same name of his "namesake album". When there's something positive about him, he becomes an "amazing solo artist"... yeah... one of those bloody poets with a chronic lack of inspiration... When it's negative (23 negative reviews, 28th position in the most important chart outside home, the USA he licked so much, there will be no 2nd album, etc.), he's in "a band that is not a band but will disband in November"... as a menace, to make the people buy his first last unique unmissable album... I'm not gonna give him one €uro. Maybe just a Pretty Green voucher to buy some new cool clothes.

Hmm...maybe Noel should take his own advice from the Coachella interview. Noel's quote: "I get tired of rock stars who bitch, and complain, and moan about everything. This is the greatest game in the world and should be treated as such. It should look exciting and fun and if you don't like it, then get out. There are kids all over the world with acoustic guitars sitting in bars playing other people's songs and they are dreaming about being tired on an airplane."
Or dreaming about getting evacuated from a hotel at 6am and having a fan approach you for a quick picture.

more stuff to add soon
(not to be thrown at Noels' cows)
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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates


30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel


16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.


new tour


3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)

8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland


Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)



fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8

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