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Oasis new book: a funny bible of quotes

 This new book, "Mad for it, the wit & wisdom of the brothers Gallagher" is precious as much as an Oasis cd, because it's the Gallaghers writing it, the Gospel according to our evangelists Saint Noel and Saint Liam, but not really saints, with all the funny things they have said about everything in two decades. And it's updated with the recent split and 2010 quotes. It's the best way to tell their whole story, because you're sure it's true, it's them speaking. So this book was necessary and different from all those about them, where usually you read point of views and stories you couldn't be sure they're invented or not. Besides, Oasis fans usually get bored of reading books :) but this is easy to read: it's that kind of book you always keep on your bedside table and open it sometimes to have a laugh.
The author, Paul Stokes ("Q", "NME", "Select" magazines) put it all together and told the facts around the quotes.
When you've read this book, you feel like you want to say more similar funny things :)
I'm sure you'd get a smile even from the people who dislike them, because Oasis are always so sincere (even too much). A "must-have" for every Oasis fan but not only, because they spoke about everything and everyone, about you too.

Here are some quotes:

"An advice for young musicians? Always wear a condom."
(Liam 1996)

"We've got a little Mancunian corner of north London. You'll have noticed, it's the area with no hubcaps on the cars."
(Noel 1997)

"Liam, of course, who is like a woman who's on a fucking permanent menstrual cycle all the time about everything, he's either way up in the clouds or way down in the gutter."
(Noel 2005)

"The thing about Liam and his hairdos is when he gets a new one you think 'That looks absolutely rubbish' then six weeks later everyone on Oxford Street has got one."
(Noel 2007)

"Mexican waves? I never got involved in all that, I don't even like it at gigs or anything like that, it shows that nothing is going on, on the pitch. At the snooker, I don't mind."
(Noel 2010)

"I don't see how the tabloids could get any worse for me unless they claimed I'd had anal sex with an alien. 'Liam Gallagher was caught last night bending an alien across a pool table and poking his bottom.' What more can they say about me?"
(Liam 1997)

This one's for Brian Cannon ahahaha (on learning Berwick Street, London, bears a plaque because it's on the cover of the same album) "Do you think people do the thing, walking down the street like they do at Abbedy Road? That would be fucking great wouldn't it? I wouldn't mind but it's such a fucking shit cover. It must be one of the most uninspired artworks for one of the biggest albums of all time. I'd like to think Japanese people do walk down that street in rush hour dodging black cabs."
(Noel 2007)

(one such b-side 'Acquiesce' even saw the Gallaghers dueting in 1996) "It [the title] was good because it confused Liam. 'What's a fucking acquiesce?' 'It's a new car by Volkswagen. Fucking great, you wanna get yourself one'."
(Noel 1998)

"I could put my professional hat on and I could say that it's really important to come and play for these people for the social aspect of Rock in Rio. Or I could be honest and say it's really fucking cold in England and it's really warm here."
(Noel 2002)

"If we weren't in a band, we'd be having rows in the house. If we had a greengrocers, Gallagher's Greengrocers, we'd argue over which way to set out the apples or pears."
(Liam 1995)

(on singing Noel's words) "I'm the singer and the only personal lyrics of his I'm singing is, 'I've got a 12-inch cock, d'ya want some?' I don't mind singing that."
(Liam 2002)

"I just wanted to be in a band and I wanted to tour the fucking world and I wanted to shag all the fucking birds and that was the end of it. I wanted to drink and get fucking pissed and off my tits and as high as I could possibly get. And be paid for it."
(Liam 2004)

(on sex) "Birds are all right. They're all pink on the inside. Any bird who's fit is all right, unless she's nicked or ugly and she speaks back to you. If she thinks I'm boss, then tumbs up. Chicks in Japan don't even ask your name, just 'Can I sleep with you tonight?' 'Certainly, my dear'. I like American birds till they open their mouths. Then they annoy me, but if they're fit, they're fit."
(Liam 1996)

(to Liam in 1994 after the band were deported from Holland after causing trouble on a cross-channel ferry) "If you're proud of getting thrown off ferries why don't you go and support West Ham and the fuck out of my band and go and be a football hooligan. We're musicians, right."
(Noel '94)

(on Pete Doherty) "I'm not into smackheads; smackheads need slaps."
(Liam 2005)
"I'll tell you what, he needs to wash his hands more."
(Noel 2005)

(on the White Stripes) "Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts. He's supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking ... I'm not having that, that's fucking wrong."
(Noel 2005)

"John Lennon would probably hate us, then again who gives a fuck? He's a Scouser."
(Liam 2000)

(on Paul Weller) "People think he's some deep god, but he's a moany old bastard. He's Victor Meldrew with a suntan."
(Noel 1995)

(on Keane) "Traditionally speaking, throughout the history of rock 'n' roll, the three biggest twats in any band are always the singer, the keyboard [player] and the drummer. You can't argue with that!"
(Noel 2005)

(on Florence+The Machine) "I'm not having anyone with ginger hair making music. I can't go down that road. I'm sure she's a nice girl but she sounds like someone has stood on her fucking foot."
(Liam 2010)

(on Robbie Williams) "A lot of people want to have sex with me, and he's at the fucking back of the list."
(Liam 2001)

(on U2) "Sing One, shut the fuck up about Africa."
(Noel 2007)

"I think the current prices [for albums] are ok what is it, £7.99 online? That's enough to keep my swimming pool full of mineral water."
(Noel 2008)

(by 2009 the brothers were only communicating via blogs and Twitter, despite touring together. The Roundhouse saw them making verbal sideswipes at each other onstage, which they then followed up online)

"Who knows, man, maybe he [Noel] needs to go and do his solo record ... it would sound very civilised I reckon. It's an awful thing, but maybe it's a good thing for him."
(Liam 2009)

and many more, hundreds of these.

The book will be published by Aurum Press, not expensive, £ 6.99, that's enough to keep their swimming pool full of mineral water.
:)))

links where you can now purchase this book:





Liam Gallagher tour 2017-2018-2019-2020-2021 gigography

2017
30 May - O2 Ritz, Manchester, England
1 June - Electric Brixton, London, England
4 June - Rock im Park, Nürnberg, Deutschland
5 June - Pinkpop festival, Landgraaf, Nederland
10 June - Olympia theatre, Dublin, Ireland
11 June - Barrowlands, Glasgow, Scotland
14 June - Bergenfest festival, Bergenhus Festning, Norge
24 June - Glastonbury festival, England
6 July - Exit Festival, Novi Sad, Srbija
9 July - Festival Les Ardentes, Liege, Belgique
15 July - FIB festival Benicàssim, España
21 July - the Tall Ships Races, Turku, Suomi
23 July - Lollapalooza festival, Paris, France
28 July - McKittrick Hotel, New York City, USA
30 July - Rough Trade, New York City, USA
2 August - Park West, Chicago, USA
3 August - Lollapalooza festival, Chicago, USA
5 August - Osheaga festival, Montreal, Canada
10 August - National Olympic Sports Center Gymnasium, Beijing, China
12 August - CR Shenzhen Bay Sports Center Arena, Shenzhen, China
14 August - Manila’s Mall of Asia Arena, Maynilà, Pilipinas
17 August - Zepp, Tokyo, Japan
18 August - Sonic Mania, Makuhari Messe, Chiba, Japan
20 August - Summer Sonic, Osaka, Japan
22 August - Jamsil Olympic Stadium Seoul, South Korea
25 August - August Bank Holiday Weekend, Leeds, England
27 August - August Bank Holiday Weekend, Reading, England
9 September - Dcode festival, Campus del la Ucm, Madrid, España
14 September - Vogue Fashion Night Out, Terrazza Duomo 21, (acoustic show), Milan, Italia
22 September - Reeperbahn festival, Hamburg, Deutschland
7 October - CalJam, San Bernardino, California, USA
29 October - Samhain festival, Weston airport hangar, Dublin, Ireland
30 October - Sse Arena, Belfast, Northern Ireland
1 November - Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle, England
2 November - BBC radio Theatre, London, England
7 November - Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, London, England
10 November - Party in the Park, Dubai Media City Amphitheatre, United Arab Emirates
13 November - Warfield Theatre, San Francisco, USA
14 November - The Wiltern, Los Angeles, USA
18 November - Gothic Theatre, Denver, USA
20 November - First Avenue, Minneapolis, USA
21 November - The Riviera, Chicago, USA
23 November - Rebel, Toronto, Canada
25 November - House of Blues, Boston, USA (postponed)
27 November - Terminal 5, New York City, USA
29 November - Lincoln Theatre, Washington DC, USA (postponed)
30 November - Union Transfer, Philadelphia, USA (postponed)
3 December - First Direct Arena, Leeds, England
4 December - The Sse Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
6 December - Pavilions, Plymouth, England
7 December - Alexandra Palace, London, England
9 December - Sleep in the Park, Edinburgh, Scotland
10 December - Motorpoint Arena, Nottingham, England
12 December - Arena, Birmingham
13 December - Motorpoint Arena, Cardiff, Wales
15 December - Brighton Centre, Brighton, England
16 December - Arena, Manchester, England
30 December - Falls festival, Lorne, Australia
31 December - Falls festival, Marion Bay, Australia
2018
2 January - Falls festival, Byron Bay, Australia
4 January - Enmore theatre, Sydney, Australia
5 January - Forum theatre, Melbourne, Australia
7 January - Falls festival, Fremantle, Australia
12 January - Bitec Bangna Hall 106, Bangkok, Thailand
14 January - Ecopark Convention Centre Ancol, Jakarta, Indonesia
12 February - Radio X rooftop, London, England
23 February - La Riviera, Madrid, España
24 February - Razzmatazz, Barcelona, España
26 February - Fabrique, Milano, Italia
27 February - Granteatro Geox, Padova, Italia
1 March - X-tra, Zürich, Schweiz
2 March - L'Olympia, Paris, France
5 March - Columbiahalle, Berlin, Deutschland
7 March - Ancienne Belgique, Bruxelles, België
8 March - Afas Live, Amsterdam, Nederland
17 March - Lollapalooza festival, Hipodromo de San Isidro, Buenos Aires, Argentina
18 March - Lollapalooza festival, Parque O'Higgins, Santiago, Chile (cut, postponed)
22 March - Lollapalooza festival, Autodromo de Interlagos, Sao Paulo, Brasil
27 March - Parque de la Exposición, Lima, Perú
13 April - Snowbombing, Mayrhofen, Austria, Österreich
10 May - The Masonic, San Francisco, USA
11 May - Greek Theatre, Los Angeles, USA
13 May - Sony Center for the Performing Arts, Toronto, Canada
14 May - Blue Hills Bank Pavilion, Cambridge, USA
16 May - Central Park Summerstage, New York, USA
17 May - Festival Pier at Penn's Landing, Bala Cynwyd, USA
19 May - Lincoln Theatre, Washington, USA
27 May - The Biggest Weekend festival, Coventry, England
8 June - Northside festival, Aarhus, Danmark
10 June - Parklife, Heaton Park, Manchester, England
15 June - Malahide Castle, Dublin, Ireland
16 June - Ormeau Park, Belfast, Northern Ireland
21 June - I-Days Festival, Milano, Italia
23 June - Isle of Wight festival, England
29 June - Finsbury Park, London, England
30 June - Trnsmt festival, Glasgow, Scotland
5 July - Palladium, Köln, Deutschland
8 July - Les Eurockéennes, Belfort, France
10 July - Les Déferlantes festival, Argelès-sur-Mer, France
14 July - Latitude festival, Hanham Park, England
22 July - FIB festival Benicàssim, España
20 July - Vieilles Charrues festival, Carhaix, France
25 July - Stimmen festival, Lörrach, Deutschland
10 August - Sonorama Ribera festival, Aranda de Duero, España
12 August - Sziget festival, Budapest, Hungary
17 August - Rize festival, Hylands Park, Chelmsford, England
18 August - Emirates Lancashire Cricket Club, Manchester, England
24 August - Zürich Openair, Schweiz
25 August - Rock en Seine, Paris, France
15 September - Singapore Formula 1 Grand Prix, Marina Bay circuit, Singapore
13 December - Union chapel, London, England
2019
5 June - Hackney Round Chapel, London, England
8 June - Medimex festival, Taranto, Italia
21 June - Metronome Festival Prague, Praha, Česko - Česká republika
23 June - Irish Independent Park, Cork, Ireland
26 June - Eden Sessions, Eden Project, Cornwall, England
29 June - Glastonbury festival, England
4 July - Collisioni AgriRock (literature and wine) festival, Barolo, Italia
11 July - Bilbao BBK Live, Bilbao, España
13 July - Pohoda festival, Trencin airport, Slovensko Slovakia
14 July - Atlas Weekend, Київ Україна, Kyiv Ukrayina
17 July - Moon&Stars festival, Locarno, Svizzera
18 July - The Granaries, Floriana, Malta
27 July - Cap Roig festival, España
28 July - Festival de Carcassonne, France
3 August - Mtv Unplugged, Hull City Hall, Hull, England
10 August - Smukfest, Skanderborg, Danmark
24 August - In the Park 19 festival, Helsinki, Suomi Finland
1 September - Fall in Love festival, București, România (cancelled)
7 September - Gibraltar Calling Festival, Gibraltar
14 September - Peaky Blinders Festival, Birmingham, England
21 September - O2 Ritz, Manchester, England
9 October - Chase Center, San Francisco, California, U.S.A.
16 October - Viejas Arena, San Diego, California, U.S.A.
19 October - T-Mobile Park, Seattle, Washington, U.S.A.
21 October - Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
24 October - Hollywood Bowl, Los Angeles, California, U.S.A.
11 November - Motorpoint Arena, Cardiff, Wales
12 November - Birmingham Arena, Birmingham, England
14 November - P&J Live, Aberdeen, Scotland
15 November - The SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
17 November - Utilita Arena, Newcastle, England
18 November - FlyDSA Arena, Sheffield, England
20 November - Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
21 November - M&S Bank Arena, Liverpool, England
23 November - 3arena, Dublin, Ireland
24 November - 3arena, Dublin, Ireland
26 November - Motorpoint Arena, Nottingham, England
28 November - O2 Arena, London, England
29 November - O2 Arena, London, England
6 December - Fortitude Music Hall, Brisbane, Australia
7 December - Fairgrounds festival, Berry, Australia
9 December - Enmore theatre, Sydney, Australia
11 December - Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne, Australia
13 December - Meredith Music Festival, Australia
14 December - Bird in Hand, Adelaide, Australia
17 December - Fremantle Arts Centre, Fremantle, Australia
18 December - Fremantle Arts Centre, Fremantle, Australia
20 December - Spark Arena, Auckland, New Zealand
2020
(1 February - Spektrum, Oslo, Norge, cancelled)
2 February - Annexet, Stockholm, Sverige
4 February - Vega, Copenhagen, Danmark
5 February - Sporthalle, Hamburg, Deutschland (interrupted)
7 February - Ziggo Dome, Amsterdam, Nederland
8 February - Forest National, Bruxelles, België
10 February - Palladium, Köln, Deutschland
11 February - Tempodrom, Berlin, Deutschland
13 February - Tonhalle, München, Deutschland
15 February - Palazzo dello Sport, Roma, Italia
16 February - Mediolanum Forum, Assago, Milano, Italia
18 February - Gasometer, Vienna, Österreich
20 February - Halle 622, Zurich, Schweiz
21 February - Zenith, Paris, France
12 March - Club Social music festival, Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, UAE (postponed for coronavirus)
13->18 April - Snowbombing festival, Mayrhofen, Austria (cancelled)
2 May - Beale Street Music Festival, Memphis, Tennessee, USA
24 May - Boston Calling Music Festival, Harvard Athletic Complex, Massachusetts, U.S.A. (cancelled)
12 June - Heaton Park, Manchester, England (cancelled)
18 June - O son do camiño festival, Santiago de Compostela, España
26 June - Tinderbox festival, Odense, Danmark
3 July - Rock Werchter, België
11 July - Trnsmt festival, Glasgow, Scotland (cancelled)
16 July - FIB festival Benicàssim, España
18 July - Latitude festival, Henham Park, England (cancelled)
19 August - Vital, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20->23 August - Cabaret Vert festival, Charleville-Mézières, France
28->30 August - Reading & Leeds festival, England (cancelled)
17->19 September - Metronome Prague Festival, Praha, Česká republika
19 September Summer sonic, Japan
16->18 October - Shaky Knees Music Festival, Central Park, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
29 October - NHS workers concert, O2, London, Great Britain
2021
19 June - Rock in Rio, Lisboa, Portugal
10 July - Trnsmt festival, Glasgow, Scotland
27 June? - Lucca Summer Festival, Italia
more soon
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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2020

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates

2000

30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel

2003

16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)

2011


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.

2012

new tour

2013

3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)



8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland

2014

 

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