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Oasis are not a bitch as Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Cretino Ronaldo, poor idiot. Oasis will never play for him, they have no price, they are not a whining faggot slimely bitch as him.

Cristiano Ronaldo: Oasis are better than the Beatles. False, you arse-licker. Cristiano Ronaldo: come to Madrid to see which cars we have. Yes idiot, the cars of your stupid accidents, you chicken. Noel would spit at your shit cars.

Quella puttana di Cristiano Cretino Ronaldo, riassumendo le ultime vicende, ha fatto i complimenti agli Oasis, dicendo addirittura che sono meglio dei Beatles (anche stavolta ha detto una stronzata, leccaculo di merda) e voleva che gli Oasis suonassero un concerto per lui, pagando. Noel ha ovviamente detto no, e la checca se l'è presa, ironizzando sugli Oasis e dicendo robe che sono il pane per i denti degli Oasis, tipo "vengano a vedere che macchine abbiamo a Madrid", robe che Noel gli sputerebbe addosso. Sì, le macchine con cui l'idiota continua a fare incidenti da pollo. Il cretino deve capire (verbo a lui sconosciuto) che alcune cose non si possono comprare, e che gli Oasis non sono delle checche lamentose viscide puttane come lui.

OASIS have had a few insults hurled their way over the years but CRISTIANO RONALDO has delivered the best one yet.

The ex Manchester Utd ace, an unpopular lad in the sky-blue half of the city, reckons the band aren't a patch on Latino pop singer RICKY MARTIN.

The Real Madrid star has been locked in a rib-tickling exchange with the Manc lads after he revealed his desire to get them to play a private gig.

NOEL replied that he always knew the Portuguese winger had great taste but the £80million world record signing would never be able to afford them.

I have nothing but respect for Ronaldo for playing ball by chipping in yet again with a put-down Mr Big would have been proud of.

He said: "If Noel or Liam want to let me know what they charge for a private gig, they can give me a call or let you guys know and you can pass the message on.

"I mean it can't be that expensive can it? They're no Ricky Martin."

Live Forever or Living La Vida Loca? No comparison.

Ronaldo was keen to point out the deep pockets at his new club. He added: "If Oasis think we can't afford them they should come to the Madrid training ground and see some of the cars.

"The lads here don't mind spending their money. If I explained to the boys how good Oasis are, I think we could get a whip round going and come up with the fee pretty easily.

"I think KAKA' would love them. He has very good taste." Ronaldo originally said he thought Oasis were the best British band of all time, far better than THE BEATLES.

He said he would love to have the Gallaghers over to the Bernabeu to see his first La Liga mega match, Real Madrid v Barcelona.

Ronaldo added: "As for the Real Madrid v Barca tickets, we can sort them out no problem, but I would have to insist that they closed with Champagne Supernova. For that I will make sure they are in seats on the halfway line.

"You can let them know that I won't be coming to their beloved City as well.

"I love it here in Madrid and there will only ever be one club in Manchester for me."

What, the Living Room on Deansgate?

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Oasisblues copyright © 1994 - 2017

Beady Eye gigography and next tour dates


30 May - Forum, Milan, Italy (the first "Noeless" gig since 1991 when he didn't join Oasis yet)

summer tour without Noel


16 November - Andy Bell unplugged - Debaser, Stockholm, Sweden (bootleg)


3rd & 4th March - Barrowland, Glasgow, Scotland +here and here + bootleg
6th & 7th March - O2 Apollo, Manchester +bootleg 1 +bootleg 2
9th & 10th March - Troxy, London +bootleg 1
13 March - Casino de Paris, Paris, france
14 March - E-Werk, Koln, Germany
16 March - Alcatraz, Milan, Italy +dvd bootleg
18 March - La Riviera, Madrid, Spain +bootleg
19 March - Bikini, Toulouse, france
21 March - Paradiso, Amsterdam, Holland (bootleg)
22 March - Ancienne Belgique, Brussels, Belgium (bootleg)
14 & 15 April - The Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland here a bootleg image
17 April - Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland
20 April - O2 Academy, Newcastle (a photo here)
23 April - Centre, Newport (photo and bootleg)
30 May - Grosse Freiheit 36, Hamburg, Germany
+a photo here + win tickets here
8 June - Saschall, Firenze, Italy +my story here +bootleg here +win tickets here
11th June - Papillons de Nuit Festival, Saint Lo, france
12 June - Isle of Wight festival +story here and here +interview here +videos here +interview and bootleg here
25th June - Theater of Living Art, Philadelphia, U.S.A.
30 June - Rock Werchter, Belgium (bootleg)
1 July - Main Square Festival, Arras, france +a photo here
7 July - BBK Live Festival, Bilbao, Spain
9 July - Oxegen Festival, Naas, Ireland
26 August - Reading Festival (win tickets) +videos here +review&video here +bootleg here
3 September - AX Hall, Seoul, South Korea
14 September - Twinkle Rock Festival, Taipei, Taiwan
7 October - Atlantico, Rome, Italy +main bootleg here +another bootleg here
+win the concert here
11 October - Volkshaus, Zurich, Switzerland (postponed)
13 October - Gasometer, Vienna, Austria (postponed)
31 October - Theater Caupolican, Santiago, Chile
2 November - Teatro de Verano Ramon Collazo, Montevideo, Uruguay
3 November - Teatro Colegiales, Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 November - Personal Festival, Buenos Aires, Argentina
5 November - Planeta Terra festival, Sao Paulo, Brazil
12 November - O2 Academy, Sheffield
14 November - O2 Academy, Birmingham
17 November - O2 Academy Brixton, London
2 December - The Warfield, San Francisco, U.S.A.
3 December - Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, U.S.A. +another complete review here +win tickets here and here
5 December - First Avenue, Minneapolis, U.S.A.
6 December - The Rave Ballroon, Milwaukee, U.S.A.
9 December - Terminal 5, New York, U.S.A.
10 December - House of Blues, Boston, U.S.A.


new tour


3 June - Abbey Road, London (acoustic) +bootleg here
7 June - McClusky's, Kingston (album launch acoustic gig)

8 November - Olympia Theatre, Dublin, Ireland


Noel Gallagher solo gigography, and Low Lying Turds tour dates

(although his blinded fans say he's a "new solo artist", it's 20 years he's around and already played "solo" gigs previously (the first one in 1994), with the help of other people of course, as the Unplugged 1996, the gig for Tibet, the tour in 2006-2007, London, Milan, Manchester, Moscow, Los Angeles, Toronto, Paris, Australia, etc.)


25 March - Royal Albert Hall - London


28 November - Alcatraz - Milan, Italy + review here +video bootleg here +audio and video bootleg here


lost interest... even Noel got bored of himself

10 April - Auditorio Banamex - Monterrey, Mexico (cancelled)



fans leave the gig again and ask for Liam again
..... € 10 = £ 8

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