not Mad but Marco fer it, I'm the biggest Oasis fan ever - Decalogo del Vero Fan degli Oasis

I'm stunned looking at what kind of music some Oasis fans listen to. Pure Oasis fans don't listen to fuckin' Babyshitambles, Depeche fags, Placebo faggots, Duran Duranal. Noel: they are just 2 o 3 fans. 30 August LAST gig ever, Oasis chose Milan, not other places in the world, do us a favour: stay away from Milan, Fiera is Berlusconi place, you're jealous of Milan all year, so communists stay home, go to the gigs of your fellow men, you don't deserve the best.

Ho fatto questo decalogo perchè vedo in giro un sacco di gente che si professa "fan degli Oasis" e però ascolta anche una marea di puttanate. Coerenza zero. Non dico che bisogna ascoltare solo quello che dicono gli Oasis, ma quei sedicenti fans sono un tantino sfasati. Di solito sono adolescenti con le crisi esistenziali.

Misura la tua percentuale (e.g. 7 punti=70% :). Scommetto che voi poppanti siete sul 20% ghghghgh
Marco l'unico al 110% :P

1. Gli Oasis sono il tuo Gruppo preferito con la G maiuscola come Gallagher, come Guido, come Guida Spirituale, come General Dread cioè Noel, non avrai altri gruppi con la G maiuscola all'infuori di loro, "non ti farai idolo né immagine... Non ti prostrerai davanti a quelle cose..." (libro del Deuteronomio).
Il Vero Fan non segue i gruppi che hanno insultato gli Oasis.

2. Il Vero Fan li segue fin dall'inizio, quindi una marea di gente è già scartata: eravate all'asilo e vi cambiavano ancora i pannolini. Io ero in Inghilterra e la radio trasmetteva: Mister Sifter sold me songs when I was just 16...

3. Il Vero Fan ha un sito, un blog, ha costruito qualcosa su di loro. Comprensivo di negozio online, perchè Noel vuole i soldi.

4. Il Vero Fan suona la chitarra, e se non è bravo come Noel non importa, lui è sempre più bravo. L'importante è che il Vero Fan abbia iniziato a suonarla per vedere se e quanto è difficile. Di sicuro il Vero Fan potrà dire di essere più bravo a suonarla rispetto a Liam, ma ci riuscerebbe chiunque.

5. Il Vero Fan non dorme la notte prima di un concerto, vi si presenta in stato pietoso e quindi la sveglia puntata all'alba per arrivare 14 ore prima del concerto è inutile. Che il Vero Fan abbia fatto almeno una "front row", ça va sans dire (scusate il francesismo imperdonabile).

6. Il Vero Fan sa tutte le parole di tutte le circa 200 canzoni. Quindi Liam non è il Vero Fan. Di più: tutti i testi fanno parte del Vero Fan e della sua filosofia di vita, e sa tutte le parole talmente bene che potrebbe partecipare a un quiz con Mike Bongiorno, riconoscendo una canzone anche da due parole.

7. (Non rubare) Il Vero Fan ha tutto, e non hai mai scaricato da internet neanche una delle loro canzoni al posto di comprarle. Noel vuole i soldi.

8. Il Vero Fan tifa Manchester City, e quando non riesce a vedere le partite le segue via testo su internet.

9. Il Vero Fan degli Oasis è come loro contrario alle droghe e non si fa arrestare ai loro concerti per aver fatto casini. "More police on the streets" (Noel).

10. Il Vero Fan è come Noel, e lo sono solo io :-P

Il Vero Fan è VF e vi manda amichevolmente a (Vaf)Fanculo.

"...well sit down here and we shall see, we can talk and find common ground, and we can just forget about feeling down..."
(Noel Gallagher)
It's stunning how many things I have in common with this great man:
- we are both Gemini, the most intelligent Zodiac sign. The best musicians are Gemini: Noel (and it would be enough :), Kelly Jones from Stereophonics, Jewel, Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, Paul Weller, Morrissey (Smiths), Prince, 2 Rolling Stones, Ron Wood and Charlie Watts , Brandon Flowers (the Killers), Brian Wilson (Beach Boys), Juliette Lewis, Ray Davies (Kinks), etc.
- we are both a "fuckin' genius" ahaha
- we are both a positive person
- we both don't like depressing music
- we both have a Brit style
- we both think that 4 things mark us: music, love for elegance, family, football
- we both feel well when we stay on our own
- we both play guitar and sing
- we both like red guitars
- we both support Manchester City
- we both have Catholic origins
- we were both born in a great Northern city (and both names with M :), both not the capital
- we both don't go to pacifist bullshit, we'd rather go to the park with our daughter (he does, I will)
- we both still use All Star shoes
- we both use English humour :D
- we both know a lot about the Beatles and Led Zeppelin
- we both dislike the actual City shirt, that is by french Le Coq Sportif
- we both say fuck off to french Wenger
- we both live in a big city
- we both wanted to go away from our city
- we both think that sushi is shit
- we both think that Japanese are depressing (he goes to Japan for the gigs, I have Japanese neighbours), they live in an unreal world of their cartoons
- we both think that Japanese are ugly
- we both don't like being in photos, especially photos with our fans (mine too ahahaha)
- we are both famous in Japan (me because Japanese take photos everywhere so when I walk somewhere I'm always inside their photos ahaha)
- we both insult Australians
- we both almost never use the car...
- ...'cause we both want a driver :D
- we are both against drugs
- we both like beer
- we both like Beckham
- we both have met him
- we both love books about music
- we both would like to buy our team as Berlusconi did, but now City is owned by a super rich person ehehe, the Arab sheik
- we both hate the other team of our city ehehe
- we both used to go to the stadium very often, now both sometimes
- we both would like that someday our children learn to play guitar
- we both have a brother/sister 5 years younger
- we both think that our brother/sister are stupid ahahaha
- we both hated school
- we both had fights in the street when we were kids, stupid things
- we both had shit jobs
- we both have a difficult relation with our father
- we both say "them Irish..."
- we both say that environmentalists are a bunch of idiots
- we both say fuck off to socialists
- we both say "them communists..."
- we were both for the war in Iraq
- we both want more police on the streets
- we both think that a good politician is someone rich, that is Berlusconi
- we both have an opinion about the things in the world
- we both like blondes (but also brunettes ahaha)
- we both had friends who didn't come to gigs with us, though we told them so much to come, 'cause there are girls
- we both speak well about Milan
- we are both Oasis fans ahahaha
- we both say that we are the most beautiful one :D (but I'm more beautiful than him :P)
- etc. other things will come to my mind.

"Italian boys are like me, very passionate.
4 elements mark them: football, music, family and love for elegance. My Italian friends are cool, they wear wonderful clothes and shoes, fabulous scarves, sunglasses even at night and beautiful women by their side. Well, I'm considered quite a holy figure in Italy, It's Milan... Italy's great man, I fucking love going there".
(Noel Gallagher)